September 2004

September has been easily the most exciting, challenging, and rewarding month of our lives. The birth of our daughter was only the beginning of this wild ride called parenthood, and we feel as if we haven’t had a chance to stop and get our breath.

It is amazing to me that the human race has made it this far now that I’ve witnessed firsthand the trials you face bringing a new person into the world. I always assumed that breastfeeding was a completely natural phenomenon that didn’t require much effort on the part of the feeder. In reality it is an incredibly challenging exercise that takes a while to master. Every nurse at the hospital showed Becky a different technique and we were both thoroughly confused until we visited a Lactation Consultant three days after the birth. The fact that hospitals actually employ professionals devoted to breastfeeding speaks volumes about how simple it is.

Sleeping has of course been a luxury. Becky can’t figure out why she can only manage four hours of sleep a day while Kyla gets about 20. Relative to Becky I’ve been spoiled in this department since I have no means of feeding Kyla yet, plus a new mother produces hormones that cause her to become immediately alert when her baby cries that a new father does not.

For some reason I was under the impression that you have to change a baby’s diaper every three hours. In reality it has been about once an hour, and I’ve lost track of the number of times she’s gone immediately after changing her (and a few during). I’m thinking about dividing my 401(k) funds between Pampers and Huggies.

Other than simply caring for Kyla, September has been a blur of shopping trips to Target and Babies ‘R’ Us, visiting with family and friends who make few pretenses of who they really want to see (hint: she weighs less than 10 pounds), and attempting to keep our household afloat. I went back to work after a couple weeks, which has returned some normalcy to my routine, though I often find myself longing to hold Kyla and eager to get home.

Even in light of all of the demands that have been placed on me since Kyla’s birth, there is no doubt in my mind that becoming a parent has been and will continue to be the most extraordinary and gratifying thing I’ve ever done with my life. There is nothing like locking eyes with your child and sharing a moment with her. She has even begun to smile recently, which gives me hope that she is enjoying me as much as I’m enjoying her.

The Big Day

Kyla Ashley Hovenkotter was born at 8:27 PM, on Tuesday, August 31^st, 2004. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 2 ounces (ouch!) and she was 20 ½ inches long.

We checked into the Evergreen Hospital Family Maternity Center at 6:45 in the morning to be induced since Kyla was a week overdue and Becky was already dilated to 4 centimeters. Daina was our labor nurse, and she was great at making Becky feel comfortable and at keeping the mood light and positive. Becky’s mother, Linda, was also there to help.

Becky was given pitocin, which is the hormone that causes labor to get her started, and it didn’t take long before the contractions started getting very strong. Dr Tsuang broke Becky’s water around 9:00.

Before noon, Becky was at 5 centimeters and really started feeling the pain that we had been hearing about. She was resilient and wanted to wait as long as possible before getting the epidural. Finally after being doubled over in agony and 7 centimeters dilated she asked to have the Anesthesiologist stop by.

At around 6:30 Daina had Becky start pushing and soon after Dr Tsuang showed up to lead the show. With each contraction Becky pushed harder and harder determined to meet our new baby as soon as possible. After an hour and a half, Dr Tsuang offered to use a vacuum, but Becky refused, resolute as ever to deliver unaided. I was completely amazed by her strength and will power; she would keep pushing even after the doctor told her she could stop.

Finally, after two hours of pushing, Kyla arrived. Dr Tsuang quickly handed her to Becky and the three of us spent time together as a family for the first time. Then the nurses took Kyla to check her out and measure her. Next I had the honor of giving Kyla her first bath, which she didn’t particularly enjoy.

The rest of Kyla’s grandparents were all in the waiting room through the birth and were eager to meet the newest member of the family. Of course everyone wanted to dissect her every attribute to figure out where it came from. Becky pointed out that she appears to share a particular forehead wrinkle with me.

That first night in the hospital, Kyla barely slept and Becky and I stayed up with her, though we didn’t mind. We were completely fascinated with this beautiful little person we had brought into our lives.

Everything I had been told about the birth of my child being the most fascinating, wonderful day of my life was completely true. There is absolutely nothing like seeing a baby enter the world, and everyday of my life from this point forward will be irrevocably changed. As my mother has always said, love multiples, it doesn’t divide.